just watching the grass grow

I talked to my son, Luke, this afternoon who is out in Washington working for the summer. After relaying all his news he asked me what's been going on. I told him the lawn had its first cut yesterday and he told me that didn't sound exciting, that I really need to get out more! Reminded him when I talked to him saturday afternoon I'd just been to the button show. That didn't give him alot of confidence I'm having a rolicking good time this summer as he replied, "exactly". Well, it sounds maybe worse than it is?!

reason to smile

Look who came to my house today! She is made by my very talented friend, Katie Kendrick. Check her blog for a link to her ETSY store where she sells them and other pieces of her art. This doll is so wonderful, really makes me smile, and now takes pride of place on my bed. ((hugs to you Katie))
I also have one of DJ Pettitt's pieces which is above my nightstand (the smaller framed piece pictured). I purchased this from her when I first got divorced and moved to North Carolina, it is titled Hope.

These are two very talented women, I get so much inspiration from them both.

button show

It takes alot to get me overwhelmed when shopping, yet I don't think I have ever been more so than this afternoon. My sister, Peggy, called around 11am and asked if I had read the morning paper (we do get two "mornings", saturday and sunday) as there was an article in it about the National Button Society Convention being held here in GR which was culminating in a sale being held today, from 10am to 3pm. (Being she and Cathy were to have saved my mom's button box for me and didn't, I believe they have made a pledge to somehow, someway try to make this up to me yet in this lifetime!). So, having a few free hours I was out the door and downtown by noon. There were more than 50 vendors (including one from England and another from Italy), amazingly alot of men. Anyway I have to say - I didn't even know where to look first. There were boxes and bins of buttons to pick through ranging in price from twenty-five cents to ten dollars a "pick". And buttons assembled on cards into quite specific categories and from what I saw priced anywhere from $3 apiece to one which was $2000! There was a booth which had an ingenious necklace you could put a button on to wear which could be changed out very easily, and a few with bracelets. I purchased a bracelet made from small gold metal buttons (and mine which I made last winter from mother of pearl buttons, that I was wearing, admired by the woman I bought from which was nice), and a few more expensive (for me - as I certainly did not purchase anything over $20) buttons to use on the necklace I also bought. Then I could just do no more, there was just too much and I knew too little, so I perused the hundreds upon hundreds which had been judged and had to leave - even before the 3pm deadline!

I met a couple very nice women from the GR chapter of the Michigan Button Society who urged me to come to one of their meetings. And in talking to a few vendors and a sponsor of the show and telling them how overwhelmed I was told me if I'd never been to a button show before, this was the mother of all shows and that they even get overwhelmed - and they are serious collectors. I would like to learn more, read up on types and value and all as I think I would enjoy collecting (selectively). They are so beautiful and some of the antiques just so very exquisite and intricate. When I look at the treasures I did bring home I see they are all metals (I thought each one would be interesting to use on the necklace, and so pretty) - guess that's as good a place to start as any!

I do have thousands of buttons, most of which I hoard to use in my art which have been picked up at flea markets, yard sales, and junk shops, given to me by friends - I love them all! But today I witnessed a whole other level and it was pretty darn amazing.

being in the {nothing} zone

Being in the nothing zone, how satisfying, how decadent, how lucky, how perfectly summer.

~Days that blend into the next and you don't know where they went.
~Not alot gets accomplished but there are clean towels and clothes, what more can ya want.
~I do take time to smell - and water, and prune - the flowers.
~Walking the dog each evening.
~Delighting in him chasing butterflies.
~A good book read cover to cover with no interruptions.
~Grilling fresh corn on the grill.
~Strawberries, and blueberries, and watermelon, oh my!
~Shh, and ice cream.
~A new shelf on the wall to fill with forgotten stuff coming out of boxes packed eons ago.
~Flea markets, art fairs, and antique shows.
~The beach, ahhhh, the beach.
~SWIMMING in the lake, diving in the waves, sand in every crevice and crack. Perfection on a hot afternoon.
~The smell of sun tan lotion, the sound of flip flops.
~The windows down in the car, the breeze blowing my hair, music blasting on the cd player.
~A summer birthday party - the grill, the pool, the family.
~Filling a birdbath.
~Watching a real honest to god paper boy ride his wagon, zigzagging, down the street, legs spread, big grin.
~Daydreaming on a chaise lounge under a canopy of rustling leaves.
~Swinging on a porch swing.
~Vibrant sunsets.
~Windows thrown open wide to the sound of crickets on a full moon evening.
~Sleeping in.

Life, although much yet to sort out and accomplish, still with anxiety that creeps in due to the unknown, is, for the moment, satisfying. The dog days of August? These feel as if puppy days, filled with squirming delight and slobbering kisses. And if indeed the calm before another storm, savored all the more in the knowing. Truly feeling, truly experiencing, summer. Love it.

summer time memory

How is it time passes so quickly, this snap shot taken in 1985 and I can remember it as if it were yesterday afternoon. So precious are the memories.

from the flower shop

what day is it?!

I've suffered excrutiating headaches this week, therefore been lying low - very, very low. We've had astonishingly hot temperatures and humidity, rain a couple of times, my air conditioning was out for a -mercifully- short period of time, all playing havoc with my very temperamental and sensitive sinuses. Years and years and years ago I went the rounds of tests trying to determine what exactly was causing my headaches. For a few years it was thought they were migraines and I had medication for that malady. Then with the frequency of them it was thought, no, they were cluster headaches and medication was adjusted. End result is that they are sinus headaches and doctors told me even most people think that is what they have it is most usually something else. So I guess I am in a smaller select group of people who suffer the true blue thing and they are no different in pain than those other types but they last longer - wonderful, huh?! I take a daily antihistamine/decongestant to ward them off and have for years. Apparently, however, something in the air in Michigan really triggers them, and I can only hope as I get more used to being in this climate again I will adjust. For now I am slowly, slowly returning to the land of the living today.

trying to keep my cool

Yesterday my air conditioning went out - again - can't explain the frustration as this is one of the exact reasons I bought a new house, so as not to have problems like this. The good news is it never got above 80 degrees in here yet and that there is a repairman outside as I am writing. I am crossing my fingers he gets this fixed as another heat wave is beginning here, just as it is across much of the country. How, just how, did we all survive without technology?!*!@#&#@!!

a summer afternoon

The hydrangeas which were planted on the side of my house are absolutely flourishing, they are so gorgeous I had to cut some to bring inside this afternoon. The "paintbrushes" photographed with them I bought last week in Ann Arbor, they are made by a former iron worker who now does salvage art. He told me the container is part of an old fire extinguisher and the paintbrushes made from old school desk chair legs and telephone wire. LOVE THESE!

a perfect sunday

Another wonderful day at the beach. I didn't take this picture today, rather back in June before school let out, way too crowded these days and being a weekend - well, you know, all part of the experience it being the middle of july. I must say I am in love with it as ever, it relaxes me like nothing else in the world, always has (see archives, August 2005 [Aug 18th to be specific] of me at Lake Michigan when teeny, always been a beach babe).

art for the day

This is my dad, back in the 1940's. If I had to guess I'd say 8th grade. I have lots of photos of him way back when, and an old book here which is part of the Highschool Boys Series - I see a whole series of my own developing. He's a great sport, I think he'll get a kick out of this! (addendum: found another of same pic with 10 years old written on the back. Good thing he looks so young now for [almost] 73, he looked older than his years when young! Maybe had something to do with those clothes, the tie, slicked back hair?!).

summer = art fairs!

Yesterday was a perfect day in my book, art fair time in Ann Arbor! Everything was great - the weather sunny without a cloud in the sky and although very hot, not too humid - enough where a couple fresh-squeezed lemonades and some ice cream was very refreshing and hit the spot when needing a break. And the art - over 1200 artists - pure bliss!! This has evolved over many, many years, there are in fact four major fairs (going back 47 years) which stretch over the campus of the University of Michigan and through the streets of Ann Arbor, merging together into one incredible experience. I haven't been in about five years and saw it from yet a whole different perspective as over the course of those years I have ventured myself into the artistic world. Although I've always been very appreciative and it seems have always purchased it to enjoy on a daily basis I felt another level of awareness in viewing it which made it an even more enjoyable and fulfilling day.

mailmania 2

My submission for Mailmania 2, opening September 22nd at The Victoria College of Art in Victoria, BC. For more info on this exhibit: http://mailmania2.blogspot.com/. I will be very interested to see how this travels through the US postal system and on into Canada!

heat wave

Well, I just wrote a big long post about my night of redecorating - and lost the entire thing. So much for that, maybe someday I'll get back on that whole topic.

Right now I have to say the heat and humidity are consuming me - trying to stay inside and cool. I am sure my guys would be the first to call their mom a big ole wuss - and I'd have to agree! Carla told me something when I asked, after moving to the south a couple years back, how she survived the heat and humidity of the summers. She said, "you wear as little clothes as possible and hope you don't get arrested"! I actually heard comments when living "down there" such as "baby powder is a girl's best friend", gads. God knows were I a southern belle I'd probably say I was absolutely glowing right now, but I am a true northerner and feel I'm sweating like that proverbial pig (although hope I am not always so crass)! yuck.

"dr suess flowers"

as previously described, this hibiscus is amazing, I'm loving it!!!

{celebrate}

celebrate what? How about summer, sunshine, sunday!

tag

Quick tag I just whipped up from bits and pieces in the scrap basket - literally in 5 minutes - to include with some ATCs being swapped.

friday

About every three or four weeks my sisters and I have breakfast with my dad at a little restaurant, today the day. Since we all talk a few times a week and if not directly to each other we get the "news" from one or the other, it isn't exactly a catch-up but a time to relax all together. Unfortunately more times than not Peggy, who has MS, doesn't make it. She deals with alot of pain and never knows how she will feel from one day to the next, we missed her this morning.

After, Cathy and I headed out to Countryside, the mega-greenhouse with rock-bottom prices and acres and acres to peruse, way the heck out past Allendale. I bought 12 ferns to plant on the wooded side of the house, there's a door out from the garage and I hope at some point in time to put a flagstone path from it to the driveway in front. It is pretty, and since it was cleared out and mulched it is where Ernie and I start out on our walks as he can't yet go on the grass - even it is really coming along!! We went nuts over a a hibiscus that has 9-inch flowers, it is what I immediately felt was a Dr. Seuss plant - amazing and funky and something we had to have, we each bought one! I put it on the deck in a large pot right now but it can be planted and will over-winter here in Michigan - something I am skeptical about but will definitely try, probably putting it into the ground in the early fall. Pictures will be in a day or so as the one flower that was blooming didn't make the ride home stuffed into my car, but I did fit it in there without breaking any branches and there are two enormous buds about ready to open. This is just the coolest.

Also will photograph my ferns but it was too dark when I finished planting. I waited until early evening to do it as we are in the midst of the hottest days of summer here, just about 90 and the humidity is exactly what I just couldn't tolerate in NC, one of those step-out-of-the-door-and-immediately-begin-sweating kind of days (luckily a week at a time is about maximum we have to deal with it then it goes away again, it reappers sporadically but thankfully not a major part of our summers here). I'd have given quite alot to dive into a pool when done but no longer have that luxury, something I miss alot after having three different houses with inground pools and my last house living in a community where I could pick one of four around the golf course - but I made due with a cool shower, what'reyagonnado, you gotta make the best of life! I'm thinking a hot tub with ice cubes floating in it, but that too is most likely not gonna happen, LOL!

I decided then as I was pretty exhausted to go to bed early and fell asleep - for all of about 20 minutes. I'm about ready to try again. Ernie is already snoring away, after rolling in the mulch (not a good thing for a long-haired dog who then had to be brushed out before my shower), he's bushed. Sweet dreams are calling me, too......

an art-filled day

Fun day yesterday, I'd forgotten how much of a wonderful art community Saugatuck is as I hadn't been there in a good fifteen years or more. It is home to the Ox Bow school (www.ox-bow.org) which is affiliated with the Art Institute of Chicago, and due to that influence the town supports more galleries than a great many larger cities I've visited. This is one of many sculptures which are displayed around the streets and little parks everywhere. If you'd ever want a nice little vacation get-away there are also dozens of bed and breakfasts and small quaint little hotels and cottages to choose from. And, as it also sits on Lake Michigan there are out of this world sunsets and beautiful beaches to go and relax and soak up some rays. We enjoyed a scrumptious fresh-caught perch lunch yesterday and of course in honor of the birthday, an ice cream cone before heading home (and all this less than an hour from my front door)!

happy birthday, Cath!

(hope she will be too busy this a.m. pampering herself and doesn't see this post as this is her birthday gift!) Love this frame, made by a girl in East Lansing and on sale at a wonderful flower/gift shop here in town (I know, I know - I coulda made it, shoulda made it...). Anyway, the photo was taken the last girls' vacation we had a few years back now, we were staying at a friend's house in the Keys - fabulous, fabulous week (and if I recall as this pic shows I was standing practically bowlegged each night when we'd get out of our swim suits for dinner because I was so sunburned it hurt to even wear panties, I'd bought the scratchiest new ones just prior to the trip and obviously my suit was a little more risque than those things - what the hey, after a few drinks - well, you know how it goes)! Today she and I are going to go browse the galleries and shop in Saugatuck and have a late lunch to celebrate her 40-something! birthday (actually she is younger than I am so I should just blab it right out - but I can't remember exactly which one it is. And this is why they laugh at me as I am the oldest and will most likely lose my mind first, sigh)!

ATC series

This is a series of ATCs I made today for a one-on-one swap with another artist. If there is anyone out there who would be interested in doing any swaps of any kind I'm open to hearing your ideas. It's been quite awhile since I've done any due to my move, it even took me quite some time to get back into the swing of making art. But I had a long rainy day doing nothing but today and it was so relaxing and the day blissfully slipped right away - I am feeling my muse returning!

be true

She's quite tall, somewhere about 22-23 inches tall. Guess I could have taken a better picture but with all my shade it is getting quite dark in the house and thought it would be better outside. And by the way, YES, that is grass growing in the background!!

Be ~

This card fell out of a book I picked up last night, I'd bought it at a gallery sometime over the last couple of years as it really spoke to me.

It hails from:

Gladys the Brave Studios
70 Cedar St
Asheville, NC 28803

4th of july

here's to a fantabulous holiday!!
Enjoy your fun in the sun ~ xoxo Mary

there's no place like home...

It started with new towels I'd washed, and when I cleaned the dryer screen the lint looked like clouds (and thus it became). Earlier this afternoon I was trying to organize a bit and came across the flower buttons, before I knew it I had started a sewing project (and now the room is even more of a mess)! The whole thing is a bit quirky, including the scan. Should have taken a picture but I am getting tired and my camera is way upstairs, in my purse I think. So - it is what it is. I sort of like it.

true friend

This is one in a series of eleven ATCs (which was to have portrayed "The Real Me") I made yesterday for a swap being hosted by the darling Anita Webster. It has taken me alot of time to get to this, have to say procrastination was in force big time. I think I was actually a bit nervous to do them, I haven't created with paper I don't believe since I made my christmas card the beginning of December and there have been - again - so many changes in my life during that time. It felt good, and hope I now am back on the horse so to speak I'm over whatever the heck it was that has prevented me from attempting to create much art. Three cheers!!!

and the point, is?!!

Woke up at 7:15am and took Ernie out to potty - things are easier now I accessed the side door out of the garage this weekend (did a bit of organizing and clearing out of that space) and I don't have to worry about how just out of bed I look with messy hair and wrinkled pjs as it always seems all the neighbors get in their cars and drive by my house the minute I walk outside at that time of day which I've had to do since the landscaping project started. I'm sure I've made a lovely first impression on some.

Felt way too hot when I came back in so closed up all the remaining open windows (rained sprinkles all day yesterday) and turned on the air conditioning to 70 degrees. Realized the minute I got back into bed this was ridiculous and got back up and turned it off, I doubt it is even 65 degrees outside but the air really wasn't moving - still, not. Actually it is this blood pressure thing that makes me so hot alot of the time. Tried to fall back asleep but did not so got up again at 8:15am.

Gave Ernie his breakfast and had mine. These days, in fact for the last few months it has been the exact same thing - Great Grains Crunchy Pecan cereal and vanilla soy milk, which I eat siting in one of my new chairs watching a few minutes of The Today Show. Not into The Today Show much in the summer so then turn it off and go down (here) to check email. Not a very popular person it seems as there are only six emails, three from yahoo group digests and three unsolicited. Delete all.

Took a shower. Need to note here this involves trekking across the house to another bathroom as even I now have the shower doors installed in my bathroom they leaked. Then were "fixed". Then leaked some more. Finally got sick of said "fixer" coming over so just told him there was no leaking and plan on fixing it myself. However, I've been told I should remove all the caulking on the doors now - and there is alot - and start from scratch. But I keep forgetting to buy a caulking gun and new caulk. For the record: I guess they are all my bathrooms and anyone who has four and lives alone should be embarrassed of that fact. And quit complaining.

After the shower the usual thirty minutes of "getting ready" which includes brushing teeth again, "doing" hair, mascara, and the clothes thing which today involved getting the iron out and ironing a skirt. This is a dangerous maneuver which resulted in my getting a black eye the first time I attempted to do so in this house. Have been extra cautious since as it hurt like "heck" and lasted three weeks - not an attractive thing although it illicited attraction - people could not help but stare at it.

Ok, waited for the landscaper to show up as he said he'd do around 10 or 10:30am to bring two pavers he needed to finish the back patio. I have a few patches in the yard not getting watered from the sprinklers and wanted to tell him first as thought he may be able to adjust them without having to get that guy over here again. Realizing he most likely would not show (correct) I called and left him this message.

Then came down here and packaged up some stuff for the mail, one to my sweetie as it is coming up on 35 years from the day we met and I've made a little something to commemorate the occasion, and another to a friend in the hospital. Printed labels, swaddled in bubble wrap and they were ready to go. Also had some stuff to return at the mall, a very cool lantern from Pottery Barn which was a house warming gift but which my friend Pam said was crooked (she is more anal than even me) and made me vow I'd replace, and a pair of pants that both my sisters warned me not to buy as they said looked like pjs (well, I like pjs) and should never have bought in the first place. Just because I did buy them, but have reconsidered (see previous post as to not wearing pjs before 9pm). And, as the landscaper did not show - I packed the car and hit it.

First the PO, this is such a pleasant task compared to my time in NC. I go the one in Jenison which is teeny, friendly and today no line whatsoever. Then did the mall thing with the returns, decided I instead wanted a skirt when I returned the pants but they didn't have a size 10 so another store was called and they did so I'll have to swing by there on my way home. I also bought two pair of shorts from Old Navy as I liked the ones I bought before going to FL. A stop at B&N for the new Somerset (why don't I just renew my subscription again already) and a book which is actually for teens called something like The Notebook Sisters. Can't resist a journal and it is an interesting look into today's teenaged girls.

The car was on empty so to the gas station where I can get 10 cents off per gallon if I get a car wash. Forget to put car in neutral in car wash, attendant has to knock on window as I had cd player blaring new Red Hot Chili Peppers. Get home, no landscaper. Remember I was to have gone to the other store for the skirt so leave again after taking Ernie out again and giving him another cookie. Try on skirt, one dress and a pair of shorts. Buy the skirt and a top. Also see a Secretary of State office in this mall so go in to get the booklet to bone up on the test to get new license - they tell me I don't have to take a test!! In Charlotte this whole process took me five hours and my DL picture depicts a lunatic as I was so happy to almost be sprung from there I look like a goon in the picture. Needless to say this is why I haven't gone to get the Michigan one and my new plates yet, still too fresh on the mind, so this is great news and will go back when I locate four pieces of ID they require out of three different categories. Drive home a different way as I like to find shortcuts - this wasn't one.

Change my clothes into more comfies and eat lunch. This will be the end of my eating today, although not eating totally the right things I have been cutting way back as I really am not hungry most of the times I eat and therefore the last week or so feel better. Had a roast beef sandwich and sweet pickles and a diet coke. Quickly perused Somerset while eating, need to tell Lisa G I again love her stuff she had published.

Again with checking the emails, again with boring. Go out to get the US mail - even more boring. Throw in a load of wash. Check on how my new rug I bought for my bathroom friday which is dry clean only which I didn't realized until I not only dropped a toothbrush on it but also a mascara brush so had to wash - the second day I owned it - and see if I could do that without totally ruining it as I didn't want to go to the dry cleaners - it is drying. It's been damp outside so it is taking a year and a day as it has to stay inside.

Saw that Luke called but did not leave a message. He does not get good cell phone reception at his camp counselor job in northern Washington so did not call him back. Just remember he said when he called the other day that he can get email so will write him when done here. Also remember I need to call Joe to see if he is going to be able to bring the power washer over here. Now the stuff is done outside I'd like to clean up a bit of the house before I paint the doors (I bought a lucious deep shade of teal, actually called Gypsy Teal).

Read some of the new book, and somehow I am here doing this. I need to get a job, and a life. Also need to really evaluate and contemplate on why I can't seem to get myself doing any art. Other than the room only being half unpacked and organized (I have two rooms to use and was going to use the unfinished one for the messy stuff - I AM going to use...) I seem to only do it when I want to specifically make someone something. I have procrastinated on the one project, an ATC swap, I need to have in the mail no later than thursday. This is causing me anxiety.

Time to go walk the dog. It will be very nice to have grass at some point in time. (addendum: also must have taken the time to write two other blog posts but unless I check on the time guess it must have been a high point and I lost track)!

one of the best

Bob Haggard is one of the best people you'd ever hope to meet, a fantastic singer and entertainer as well. He recently suffered a stroke which has affected his right side and speech but from what I gather not his spirit. He is currently in a rehab hospital here in town working towards recovery. This quilty and my very best wishes are winging their way to him.

spending some time with the sisters

(Something strange seemed to be happening to my last blog entry, I had to delete and started over).

This photo is from the 80's, must say I am feeling brave to post it - that was a brutal decade! From L to R me, Peggy, Cathy. I spent last week doing stuff with them.

Cathy and I went out for a yummy chinese dinner one night last week and then on to a play at Circle Theatre, tickets compliments of my friend, Deb. It was a delightful Mitch Albom comedy, Duck Hunter Shoots Angel. Very well done, lots of laughs. Really enjoy Mitch Albom, I read he was here for the opening, he resides in Detroit.

The three of us went shopping and out to lunch another day, then back here to watch my nephew's wedding videos and view proofs of their pictures and looked at their honeymoon snaps from their trip to Mexico. Seems they had a fairy tale start to their married life, best of luck to them! Went from here then to have pedicures, a nice and relaxing way to end the day.

Saturday Cathy and I went to the beach, laid around reading and contemplating the next phase of our lives. I seem so often to be up shit creek without a paddle, out on the water without a sail. Something's gotta give, and we decided to start we'd get out and do more as the play proved it to be a good thing, at least vowed no more pjs before 9pm - the sun doesn't even set by that time for god's sake!

done?!!

...and in about 30-45 days I will need a lawn mower, cross my fingers! The sun even has come out, it's been cloudy with intermittent rain all day. One more thing crossed off the list, this the last major hurdle - I hope!

do ya think?!!

happy father's day!

This photo of my dad and me was taken in the fall of 1974, it is as we were getting ready to go to the football game during my high school's Homecoming weekend. Tradition dictated the dads escort their daughters of the court to this game and we sit on the sidelines to watch it together, then we were introduced with them at half time. He was one proud father, ditto me as his daughter. (From what I remember - it was absolutely freezing, however! My gawd, this photo sure looks vintage, doesn't it?!!)

and...

This deck has no access to the yard or patio below, something I thought I might not like at first and would therefore need to add stairs as the only way out to it is through french doors in the kitchen/great room. However, it keeps this little guy out of the way of the workmen and the black topsoil being strewn about down below this week yet he gets to watch (this one of the few times he was looking relaxed - they must have gone into the front or on a break!). And on days he's had a bath - well, ditto, a nice place to take a nap!

The sprinkler system is in, tomorrow they need to get into the basement to connect pipes - progress!!

morning

After getting all the usual routine things of starting my day accomplished, I took a cup of coffee outside on the deck, along with my pile of stuff, to enjoy some solitude. Is there anything like a morning in June, one full of bird song, the hiss of sprinklers, and the visual delight of butterflies on newly planted flowers?? (this butterfly very much intrigued Ernie)!
And to explain, my "pile" is something that I seem to gather together in the morning off the nightstand or floor near my bed, the part of the things from the night before I either never got to or hadn't fully gone through. I usually take it to the place I have my coffee - today that being outside on a chaise lounge, where I begin looking at it and periodically throughout the day will browse through it some more or just add to it depending on what I'm doing, if I'm busy or not. The first layer is usually some art books and magazines, and the current book or two I am reading. Later the mail gets thrown on top, possibly another magazine or two if I've been out at the store (wicked addiction), bits and pieces of stuff off the internet, the newspaper, etc. (Let me interject here that GR is the weirdest place for perusing a newspaper - it arrives around 5pm, yes you read that right, PM. Most the news you've already heard on The Today Show, caught a bit of on CNN Headline News, even the local and national evening news most days. I don't understand it and wonder, are there other places in the US who do this? I mean this isn't just the late edition, this is the edition! Yet I love newspapers, in fact seek them out when in other cities or towns as it really is where you can get an idea of what's going on and what a place is all about, and can't imagine not having the actual tactile thing in my hands each and every day). Living alone now I gather up the pile at night (Ernie's cue we are heading to bed and he now beats me in there each evening) where I watch tv or movies and it gets strewn across the bed as I go through things until there's barely room for the poor dog, before it lands on the floor or nightstand. And then the whole rigmarole is repeated day after day after day. My name is Mary and I am addicted to printed matter. I admit it but I won't be giving it up!

Today's pile started with Teesha Moore's latest edition of ART & LIFE, Tracy Bautista's new book, COLLAGE UNLEASHED, a Lake Michigan SHORELINE publication, and the atlas I grabbed out of my car. The latter so I could see the route Luke took from Ohio to Everett, WA, which he embarked on this past saturday and where he arrived last night as he'll be starting his camp counselor job this morning (still a bit farther north I see). He is such a social kid, although excited about getting there for the job and stopping along the way to see some amazing things such as Mount Rushmore and having the opportunity to ride his mountain bike through a couple national parks before turning in a couple of the nights, I could tell he was looking forward to being around people again after this interlude. I hope he has an amazing summer and meets some neat kids in his fellow counselors.

Anyway, a bobcat just drove by my window - some action outside in the yard, yeah!! I'm going to go investigate.

take two steps forward, one step back

No work done on the yard today, bringing me more frustration than I should allow, but when I am asked if I will be home all day as this person needs to get into the house to run copper pipe to extend a water line - I guess that's the general gist of what he was telling me - why wouldn't I be called if in fact he was not going to show up?!! And where were the other guys with my bushes, trees, plants?!! I've taken a few deep breaths, and even a short nap during the afternoon - not worth stressing over in the scheme of things, I know. I know. I know...

{fuN}

I got a fun package in the mail yesterday from fellow bibliophile and art buddy, Mary Walmer, who also ~conveniently~ owns a stamp store called Morning Sun Studio. I had ordered two sets of clear stamps from Autumn Leaves, both done by Rhonna Farrer - the Nature and Flourishes sets. I am all over birds these days, probably as with anything else due to be overdone any minute, but lovin' them now (Marie Otereo also puts out a stamp sheet that has one of my all time fav birds). There was an extra goodie slipped in the envelope, some Christine Adolph rub-ons, so sweet - thanks Mar! She keeps a store blog where customers are updated on the latest she has in stock or on order, check it out: http://www.morningsunstudio.typepad.com/.

Speaking of books, I started a good one last night titled, The LAKE, The RIVER, and The OTHER LAKE by Steve Amick. This is a book about a loosely veiled fictitious resort town "up north" here in Michigan. I'm only into it by 83 pages but I have to say, having spent many summers in and around such a town and intimately knowing someone from one, this is not only right on but quite a hysterical comedy, so far a wonderful summer read (you'd really like this one Mary). Also in the middle of Cesar's Way by Cesar Millan, the national geographic channel's dog whisperer. Already picking up some good tips, he really understands dogs. Tips I'll be needing as poor Ernie is now so confused about not being able to go out in his backyard he had one of the only accidents he's ever had in the house here last evening. We're working on it, lots of walks!

Landscaping update: the entire site was excavated yesterday and I am really beginning to be able to visualize my new yard! Waiting on the guy who will install the sprinkler system today, and then the work will continue with planting, etc. I am told this will be completed by week's end, I am crossing my fingers that to be the case, I mean it's after 10am already?*!*$$$$

I got the help I needed with the dvd players, and the whiner in me has departed, whew!

The landscaper is here!!! Finally, after being in the house since the beginning of March, I am going to have a yard - plants, grass, a place for Ernie to romp without coming back inside covered in burrs! To say I am excited is really a bit of an understatment today (I sure run the gamut of emotion from day to day, guess if I'd have to pin one on myself to encompass it all it would be that of s t r e s s e d o u t ).

frustration

I hate being incompetent. I had Luke hook up the DVD players on two tv's last weekend and I guess should have had him prove out they worked or showed me how so I could actually watch a movie - because I can't get either one to let me do so. There's power and on one I can even hear the movie but can't get the picture on either - and yet these are the same players I've had and used at the other house, could it have something to do with the cable box? I actually doubt that as it doesn't plug into it and what am I saying, I had one in Charlotte and it/they worked fine. Who do you call when you are an idiot and cannot even work these basic machines?!! How did I get them to work before? I'm losing my mind, something I cannot afford to do as at this age I need all the brain cells I can hold on to.

I feel very frustrated, don't think I am cut out to be a single woman, I am so ill-equipped to function in this world very well at all and it's just not fun. Weekends are not what they used to be, that's for sure. Friday night, 11pm, guess I'll go to bed.

i am

I am Willing. © Margaret Dubay Mikus I am willing to change what doesn’t work for me in my life.I am willing to listen with an open heart, without judging.I am willing to plant seeds that take a long time, if ever, to grow.I am willing to feel and let go.I am willing to make mistakes and learn from them. I am willing to live in the present.I am willing to forgive and forget in my heart.I am willing to love as much as my endless spirit will allow.I am willing to be seen in all my radiance.I am willing to be fearless. I am willing to be powerful.I am willing to be peaceful.I am willing to stand tall. and walk gracefully.I am willing to sing with my stunning, full voice.I am willing to allow. I am willing to let go.I am willing to change.I am willing to see and be seen.I am willing to hear and be heard.I am willing to feel and be felt.I am willing to heal and be healed.I am willing to love and be loved. I am willing to change what doesn’t work for me in my life.I am willing to listen with an open heart, without judging.I am willing to plant seeds that take a long time, if ever, to grow.I am willing to feel and let go.I am willing to make mistakes and learn from them. I am willing to live in the present.I am willing to forgive and forget in my heart.I am willing to love as much as my endless spirit will allow.I am willing to be seen in all my radiance.I am willing to allow. I am willing to let go.. I am willing to be fully human.

{friendship}

Pam, one of my best friends from jr high/high school was in town yesterday, a quick visit from Chicago to attend a black-tie affair honoring a family member. I was very happy she planned to take the time to meet me for lunch and then was able to come over and see my new house - the time was too short but we managed to talk and laugh nonstop for the couple hours we had. It was great to catch up, hope now I am closer (it's just a three hour drive to that wonderful city) I will have the opportunity to see her more often. It has been almost two years since she and my other two 'bestest friends' Annette and Chris, flew down to Charlotte, we have so much fun together. It is so true, you can go for a very long time without seeing some people yet as soon as you are back together in their company it seems like no time at all has passed - the truest of friends. These three have definitely had influence on who I am today, I just love them to bits!

Oh, what a feeling!

Nothing better than kicking off the flip flops and putting bare toes into the warm sand on the beach! Absolutely gorgeous 80 degree day today at Holland State Park on Lake Michigan which is less than 30 minutes from my house. Also a very interesting day as the beach and, from what I gathered campground, are both filled with high school graduates. Overheard ALOT, and have to say, not only did it bring back my own memories, but made me thankful my kids are past that stage of life, and we all survived it (and do not doubt for an instant my parents said the same back in 1975)!

{family}

Such a delightful day at my nephew's wedding saturday. This is Luke, me and dad at the church. So nice to spend time celebrating family!

{neighborhood}

You can't pick your neighbors, but you can pick your friends - and I have gained some delightful ones in my new neighbors! In showing some of them my home last weekend now I have settled in a bit it was noticed there were some things I could use help with, and over a few drinks a plan was developed and was put it into action the last few days - wow! I had a room painted and bookshelves assembled over the weekend and tomorrow will have shower doors installed in a bathroom which have been sitting in my garage since I arrived here. I believe a barbecue is in order soon!

jinxed?!!

My air conditioner was not working. New house, not unexpected, at least not for me as I believe I may just be jinxed as far as these contraptions go. Last year, the only two days it hit 100 degrees in Charlotte - yep, it went out. When we first moved to Ohio, I thought I might have been coming down with the flu, until I realized it was putting out heat instead of cool air that day. Both of these were brand new units as is this one. Friday we'd gone to the cemetery and cleaned things up a bit, took inventory of what we thought we'd need. Yesterday then Cathy and I went to a garden center, bought lily of the valley and day lilies (perennials, girls) then went back out and planted. Whew, it was 91 degrees (now, holiday weekend, us in the middle of nowhere at a little country cemetery sitting in the dirt and sweating - what happened to the days we were at the beach at Lake Michigan for the duration of any summer holiday?!! Two divorced women - who got laughing hysterically at how pathetic our lives have become. Sure mom and Karen were laughing along with us!). Looked forward to getting home to my nice cool house. What the - despite the fact I'd closed everything up and turned on the air, it was 80 degrees in here. And it a holiday. Oh ye (me) of little faith! Repairman just here and fixed the misfiring wire - I should be cool as that proverbial cucumber in a couple hours '~)

let's hear it for the girls!

Last night I went to an all-female party, so fun to spend an evening with these smart, funny women! Although coming home at 2:30am most certainly made me feel my age this morning. Today I'm getting ready to go spend with my sisters, we are taking Peggy, our mother-of-the-groom, to get a pedicure then will spend the evening eating pizza, chocolates, having a splash or two of wine and laughing the night away. Great weekend so far!

another day

I battle depression, have alot of anxiety. I am "lucky" in that it is mild, yet there are a great many peaks and valleys. I do agree with the well-meaning, I have alot to be thankful for; yet to hear this time and again creates much more anxiety in that I feel I should be able to keep myself more upbeat, work with what I've got to create an even better life for myself. And I try... and I try and I try. I find that after the highs, there comes lows - as naturally as the full moon appears each month. Bear with me, I just need the space and time to get back on track.

road trip

I left for Columbus early tuesday morning where I was to meet Luke to celebrate his birthday, it's about a five hour drive for me and something like an hour and a half from where he lives in Athens (and the poor kid had a tire blow out on the way). We met at Easton Place and had a great lunch at the CheeseCake Factory - although neither of us able to fit the cheesecake in!! It was a sunny and warm afternoon, we strolled around and did a bit of shopping afterward. We seem to have a tradition of buying music if we can find it and we did - bought vintage for us both, Grateful Dead for him, Neil Young for myself. Also made sure he was equipped for the upcoming wedding next month, haven't been shopping for "dress up" clothes with him since high school, and he is coming up on his five year reunion this summer!

Given I have this cold (I keep thinking it has peaked but it's still hanging on and I daresay it stays with me much longer I am going to have to seek out a doctor) I opted to stay the night then headed home late morning yesterday after a very restless night. There is a HUGE antique mall about a third of the way home where I stopped and spent nearly four hours, and still didn't see everything - a great diversion and rest stop! Brought home some buttons (of course), old lace and fabrics, printers type - and I don't remember what all, they come by periodically and clean out your basket and put it in a bin up front and as all my stuff was "for keeps", it was packaged and ready to go (in quite a large box - yikes) when I checked out of there - dangerous business, but will be fun to unpack later today!!!

Traffic was bad coming home, and the rains started when I got to Toledo, it is predicted to keep up for the next week. Good sleeping weather I guess, hope I can get feeling better!! Unfortunately I forgot the camera, it was waiting for me on the kitchen counter, sitting in the charger where I put it so to have it ready - darn it.

nothing so fine as the days of spring

I've spent the last few days so sick and feverish, have been alternating between slugging nyquil and sleeping and interviewing and gathering quotes for the next round of things to be done to the house.

But these days have been marvelous, 70 degrees and sunny, something the weather forecasters are reminding me do not happen often in succession in the month of May here in Michigan. Since the things that are needing attention at this point are those which will be done outside - some painting, gutter installation, underground sprinkling, putting in a lawn, landscaping - I have had no choice but to be outside and inadvertently was able to enjoy a bit of it despite this miserable cold. Thus as the landscaper and I walked my little piece of property on saturday we found black morel mushrooms growing in abundance in a couple of the woody areas! Since I can barely breathe let alone taste, they have gone into the freezer in anticipation of a time in the not too distant future when I can make a meal with these delicacies, possibly accompanied by a nice grilled steak and some baby lettuces to be eaten out on the deck. SPRING, gotta LOVE it!!

oh my aching head, stuffed up....

I thought it to be allergies, but NO, I seem to have a full-blown cold. Don't know the last time I even had one, or how I caught this although airports and airplanes are not the most sanitary places on earth, are they?! I'm hearing, "it's going around". Blech.

happy birthday luke!

Where does the time go? This picture was taken when Luke was just over a year old and we were at Glen Lake, just the other side of the dunes to Lake Michigan - it's one of my favorites which I keep in a small frame in the family room. Next week we will get together to celebrate his 23rd birthday which is today. I remember the drive to the hospital as if it were yesterday, the sun just coming up and all the flowers and trees blooming the city over, truly a time of beginnings and new life. My firstborn.

{paradise}

sanibel island, florida